The View from the Back of the Pack

It’s kinda weird to watch other people running while you’re running.  Let’s just say, *watching people run because they are passing you* is pretty different than watching from the sidelines or waiting on someone to finish and cheering them on.

When we set fitness goals- or any goals for that matter- we expect to work toward these goals and get closer to the end result.  Sure- things get in the way.  Life happens and we have setbacks, so it’s important to be resilient and dedicated enough to overcome these obstacles so that we can achieve what we set out to do.  And of course- we all have bad days, at work, school, college, the gym, and at home.

You know something’s wrong when you have more bad days than good days over a long period of time.

I know something’s wrong.

After conversations with the people who I talk to and spend time with the most (in other words, my geeky gamer girl roommate Alicia, my fellow writer, coffee and walking buddy Jamie, and my Senior Tech Writer Den Mother Carol), I started calling my doctor on Wednesday because I want to know what’s wrong.  My appetite is off (and sometimes nonexistent), my exercise performance has drastically diminished (going from running a 10K to barely being able to run a mile or two is no fun), and I’m extremely pale and thin.  I’m moody and snappy- which could be caused by looking like a pale thin hot mess and not being able to run and work out like I used to.

This is the view from the back of the pack.  This is NOT who I am, and I don’t like this one bit.

After my doc finally called me back, I left work early on Friday to go to the doctor for bloodwork.  I was pretty happy I survived the bloodwork, and kudos to the lab staff at Carolina’s because I didn’t pass or freak out, it didn’t hurt at all, and my arm isn’t bruised a bit!  I should hear back from it early next week.

I’m willing to work hard to get better.  I’ll take supplements or medicine.  I’ll even eat meat sometimes, if I have to.  I’ll gain weight- I had MUCH better athletic performance when I was about 5 lbs. heavier.  Heck, if I gain weight, I may even be able to give blood one day!

I have a list of 5Ks here in town that I want to do this summer, and my goal is to run a 5K in less than 30 minutes.  That doesn’t sound like much, but I have never done it in a race.  With being sick lately, I may not do it this summer, but maybe I can this fall.  I plan to run another 10K this fall, too.  I looked at the 10K pictures that my friend PJ at True Light Photography took after my first 10K, and I was *so* happy.  I have such a huge smile on my face because that’s the smile you get when you reach a goal that you worked so hard to achieve- and I want that feeling again.  I’m not ruling out longer distances, either.

I miss this =(

It’s not going to come easily, but most things worth having don’t.  And good health is definitely worth it.

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